I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
