I'm going to jail i love you
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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