STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize