It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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