He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
