he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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