So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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