I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
