Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
