You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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