No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
