How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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