I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
