there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
