she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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