apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
