I wannas sexs uuuuu
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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