i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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