I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize