but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
