Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it's not cheating when I paid for it
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
