"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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