he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
