Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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