No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
