and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
