My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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