do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
me + whiskey = a bad person
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
