What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
