he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
