Just fell off a train. Bad.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I did not marry a roomba.
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