I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
