In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
