When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
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It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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