After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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