I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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