I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
