well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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