MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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