Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Someone came in the potted fern
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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