just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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