That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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