It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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