Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
