just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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