ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm like, not good at living.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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