So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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