I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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