News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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