Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
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I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
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I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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