It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
