I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
