She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
