I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
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Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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