She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
