hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
