There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
cat food counts as protein by the way
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
