who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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