If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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