Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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