After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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