I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
